Some years ago I came to learn about Louise Hay and her groundbreaking book, "You Can Heal Your Life". This book (along with two films whose links are below) began opening up a new way of interacting with myself. I suddenly became more conscious than ever about my negative thinking, negative core beliefs about myself and the ways I continued to not love myself. Hay was speaking to me about self forgivness, self nurturance, self esteem in ways that I hadn't thought about before.
The reason I'm giving you this introduction today is that knowing who we are and really seeing ourselves is the beginning of a strong self concept and self worth that can drive you into better relationship with life.
One of the activities that I adopted from Louise Hay and use in my first few coaching sessions is "The Hand Mirror". One client, we'll call her Tasha, was asked to pick up a hand mirror, look into her own eyes and answer the question "Who is Tasha?" I'm often surprised by how hard this activity is for people.
Tasha, whom I'd been seeing for many sessions, laughed when I mentioned this activity. She picked up the mirror, looked and answered my question with "I don't know." Silence. "This is really hard. I... all I hear are critical voices. I don't know." This was a powerful moment for her because she was realizing that she did not have a solid sense of who she was. She couldn't list any adjectives about herself because her negative voices had taken over her consciousness.
I pushed her further by asking, "Who is Tasha at work? Who is Tasha at home? Who is Tasha with her friends?" Suddenly the adjectives came flowing out. "Well at work Tasha is helpful, resourceful, kind, caring, engaged.... at home Tasha is loving, clean..." Sometimes it's easier to see ourselves in relation to others. But we need to know, at our core, that we are good and wonderful people not by the things we do, but by who we are.
It took me a long time to learn this. I was in therapy, reading self help books, attending workshops and conferences, processing with friends and family, journaling and so much more in order to understand myself and find peace. I definitely learned a lot about myself, but ultimately learned that there is always more to uncover because we are always changing with life.
What do you know about yourself? How would you describe yourself, who you've been in previous years and how you live your life now? What is beautiful about you and what are you working on about your character? This work is never easy (especially when others let us know areas to work on!) But ultimately rewarding.
Below I've listed the Louise Hay links and some other links that have really opened up my self understanding and concept.
The Ennegram Personality Types (I recommend "The Wisdom of The Enneagram" Book)
Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life Study Program Video
Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life Movie
Helping people grow into their authenticity and love in deeper and richer ways.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Where's Your Gratitude?
Today I'm talking about Gratitude, and the title is not meant to scold you! It's meant to get you thinking about where and when you express gratitude.
“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” — William Arthur Ward
Gratitude is the best attitude you can have because it's a space of acceptance and celebrating. It helps us in the tough moments to see the lesson and the witness the improvements on our character, choices and perspective.
During Holistic Coaching, people have told me "I don't have ANYTHING to be grateful for, my life is shit right now." This is the most important time to practice gratitude! It's the faith and support that keeps us going. Plus, that kind of life view is such an exaggeration. Can you walk? Are you thankful for eyesight? Your ability to make it through the tough days? We can ALL find something to be grateful for.
Practicing gratitude is just that, a practice. Mornings are good time to set the day off in a space of appreciation and trust. Things will get better, and as we acknowledge the good, more can come in. When coaching, I might ask, "have there been people who've been listening and supporting you through this experience?" Right there is some thank you work.
In the mornings, write down a list of at least 10 things you're grateful for. Each day, write down different things on that list. This makes it really count. Here's my list today.
I'm grateful for...
1. My incredibly supportive friends and family
2. My loving partner
3. My health for the last 5 months
4. My beautiful apartment and sunlight
5. Delicious food
6. My schedule, being able to take breaks and eat when I want
7. San Francisco, opportunity, fantastic people who get me
8. My wonderful therapist!
9. Living in 2010
10. The many more years I'll have to heal, dream, create, connect...
“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” — William Arthur WardGratitude is the best attitude you can have because it's a space of acceptance and celebrating. It helps us in the tough moments to see the lesson and the witness the improvements on our character, choices and perspective.
During Holistic Coaching, people have told me "I don't have ANYTHING to be grateful for, my life is shit right now." This is the most important time to practice gratitude! It's the faith and support that keeps us going. Plus, that kind of life view is such an exaggeration. Can you walk? Are you thankful for eyesight? Your ability to make it through the tough days? We can ALL find something to be grateful for.
Practicing gratitude is just that, a practice. Mornings are good time to set the day off in a space of appreciation and trust. Things will get better, and as we acknowledge the good, more can come in. When coaching, I might ask, "have there been people who've been listening and supporting you through this experience?" Right there is some thank you work.
In the mornings, write down a list of at least 10 things you're grateful for. Each day, write down different things on that list. This makes it really count. Here's my list today.
I'm grateful for...
1. My incredibly supportive friends and family
2. My loving partner
3. My health for the last 5 months
4. My beautiful apartment and sunlight
5. Delicious food
6. My schedule, being able to take breaks and eat when I want
7. San Francisco, opportunity, fantastic people who get me
8. My wonderful therapist!
9. Living in 2010
10. The many more years I'll have to heal, dream, create, connect...
Monday, October 4, 2010
The Power of Awareness
As I reread Eckhart Tolle's "New Earth", he beckons me with question, "how aware are you?" I've asked myself this question countless times over my life and see again and again how easily we become unconscious. Going through our day to day routines, not understanding why we make our choices or have certain emotional reactions. We move from body (or heart) awareness into mind (or ego) awareness, which is often circular, rational, fast, and overwhelming. Body awareness, on the other hand, is clear, calm, focused, and simple. What awareness are you in right now?
Today I'm talking to you about awareness because this is one of my essential aspects of Holistic Living. We absolutely need awareness of mind and body in order to live driven, pleasurable and purposeful lives. As I've mentioned before, when I first meet with clients, we review the main areas of their life. We evaluate different life components deeply (see previous post). As a coach, I'm leading them with questions:
What are the strongest areas of your life right now? Why?
What areas are you unsatisfied with? What would you like to change about them?
As you take time to look at your life as a whole, what feelings are coming up?
What are your goals right now and what support do you need in achieving them?
Take some time right now and jot down the answers to these questions. Tape the answers somewhere you look daily. Your awareness will start expanding once you start asking questions. Am I feeling tired because of my nutrition and hydration levels? What do I need to reduce my stress level at work? Who do I have the most fun with?
Knowing where we are and where we want our life to go is important to hold in our minds and hearts as we move through our day to day. It reminds us of our purpose. It keeps us focused and gives us perspective. For example, when we are at work or home, and see ourselves getting worked up about something... if we stop and hold it in our mind next to our goals, we may realize it is not helping us reach our goal.
Is this situation helping or hurting me in reaching my goal? Think about your goals for a moment. Think about what's happened in your day so far. What have you been doing that's helping and hurting your goals from becoming reality? How do you feel right NOW in your body. This is the beginning of awareness.
But the true power of awareness comes from a deeper understanding... a spiritual understanding. When we take the time to really listen inward, we are connecting with our spirit. Some use therapy, meditation, church, breath work, dreams, and many other modalities to open to the voice of the unconscious and universe. I'll leave you with one of my favorite activities to accomplish this.
Channeling
Find a quiet time and place where you can sit comfortably by yourself. Bring a journal or paper to write on. Light a candle, dim the lights, burn oils or incense, whatever will enhance your relaxation. Open the journal, put the pen down, take some deep breathes with your eyes close and in your mind ask your higher self to come forth. Ask for guidance. When you feel relaxed and ready, open your eyes and begin writing. Don't think about it, just start writing. You'll be surprised what come forth.
Many activities like this can help us become aware in ways we couldn't during our day to day. You have much wisdom to give and awareness already, go share it today!
For more info on Holistic Coaching, visit holisticlifesf.com
For more info on Eckhart Tolle, visit Eckharttolle.com
Today I'm talking to you about awareness because this is one of my essential aspects of Holistic Living. We absolutely need awareness of mind and body in order to live driven, pleasurable and purposeful lives. As I've mentioned before, when I first meet with clients, we review the main areas of their life. We evaluate different life components deeply (see previous post). As a coach, I'm leading them with questions:
What are the strongest areas of your life right now? Why?
What areas are you unsatisfied with? What would you like to change about them?
As you take time to look at your life as a whole, what feelings are coming up?
What are your goals right now and what support do you need in achieving them?
Take some time right now and jot down the answers to these questions. Tape the answers somewhere you look daily. Your awareness will start expanding once you start asking questions. Am I feeling tired because of my nutrition and hydration levels? What do I need to reduce my stress level at work? Who do I have the most fun with?
Knowing where we are and where we want our life to go is important to hold in our minds and hearts as we move through our day to day. It reminds us of our purpose. It keeps us focused and gives us perspective. For example, when we are at work or home, and see ourselves getting worked up about something... if we stop and hold it in our mind next to our goals, we may realize it is not helping us reach our goal.
Is this situation helping or hurting me in reaching my goal? Think about your goals for a moment. Think about what's happened in your day so far. What have you been doing that's helping and hurting your goals from becoming reality? How do you feel right NOW in your body. This is the beginning of awareness.
But the true power of awareness comes from a deeper understanding... a spiritual understanding. When we take the time to really listen inward, we are connecting with our spirit. Some use therapy, meditation, church, breath work, dreams, and many other modalities to open to the voice of the unconscious and universe. I'll leave you with one of my favorite activities to accomplish this.Channeling
Find a quiet time and place where you can sit comfortably by yourself. Bring a journal or paper to write on. Light a candle, dim the lights, burn oils or incense, whatever will enhance your relaxation. Open the journal, put the pen down, take some deep breathes with your eyes close and in your mind ask your higher self to come forth. Ask for guidance. When you feel relaxed and ready, open your eyes and begin writing. Don't think about it, just start writing. You'll be surprised what come forth.
Many activities like this can help us become aware in ways we couldn't during our day to day. You have much wisdom to give and awareness already, go share it today!
For more info on Holistic Coaching, visit holisticlifesf.com
For more info on Eckhart Tolle, visit Eckharttolle.com
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