Discover your purpose

     What is your life's purpose?  This is such a loaded and complicated question.   People get scared of it.  They laugh at it with shrugged shoulders.  It's true, it is hard to answer.  But those who know theirs, and live it, have an unmistakeable calm, presence, and drive that illicits some awe.
  
Life Purpose Today
     I think some people get scared of the heavy fixed nature of it.  I believe our life purpose is fluid.  My life's purpose has changed a couple times in my life, but generally it's been under the umbrella of helping and serving others.  Right now I believe my purpose is to help others heal, intimately connect, and enjoy my life.  

    
   To tap into your life's purpose is powerful thing.  When we know our purpose, when we feel purposeful in our actions, we are focused and led by something greater than ourselves.  A mission, if you will.  And generally, it's a positive mission that contributes to the betterment of people, places, and society at large.  Knowing our purpose helps us feel significant and keeps us motivated to work for something important.  What are you working for these days?
    
As a human race, we get to have complex interesting purposes of our choosing.  Take a bee for example.  He has a few simple purposes: to pollenate flowers and make honey.  Every bee has the same purpose and each one is important in the larger scheme of life.  So are you!  But you get to have a rich development in how you share your gifts with the world.
    
     If you want to connect with your life's purpose, you need to contact your higher self, spirit, whatever you want to call it.  This is a space where the subconcious and soul connect, and your pure knowledge of truth is accessed.  In the space of quiet, your intuition and guidance can come forth to inform you about the path you are on.  In my coaching sessions, I connect clients to this space with hypnosis: guided breathing, meditation and visuals.  Through a set of questions, clients easily open up to their own advice and answers about where they are and where they should go.
    
15 Questions To Help You Determine Your Life Purpose *

1. What makes you smile? (Activities, people, events, hobbies, projects, etc.)

2. What are your favorite things to do in the past? What about now?

3. What activities make you lose track of time?

4. What makes you feel great about yourself?

5. Who inspires you most? (Anyone you know or do not know. Family, friends, authors, artists, leaders, etc.) Which qualities inspire you, in each person?

6. What are you naturally good at? (Skills, abilities, gifts etc.)

7. What do people typically ask you for help in?

8. If you had to teach something, what would you teach?

9. What would you regret not fully doing, being or having in your life?

10. You are now 90 years old, sitting on a rocking chair outside your porch; you can feel the spring breeze gently brushing against your face. You are blissful and happy, and are pleased with the wonderful life you’ve been blessed with. Looking back at your life and all that you’ve achieved and acquired, all the relationships you’ve developed; what matters to you most? List them out.

11. What are your deepest values?

12. What were some challenges, difficulties and hardships you’ve overcome or are in the process of overcoming? How did you do it?

13. What causes do you strongly believe in? Connect with?

14. If you could get a message across to a large group of people. Who would those people be? What would your message be?

15. Given your talents, passions and values. How could you use these resources to serve, to help, to contribute? ( to people, beings, causes, organization, environment, planet, etc.)

     I find writing the answers to some of these questions really cleansing and supportive in getting clear about who I am and what I want out of life.  Your purpose is personal.  Your purpose should be meaningful.  Your purpose will resonate with your entire being.  It's okay if you don't know it, but taking time to think about it could lead you to some new fantastic territory! 

For more information on Holistic Coaching or Brendan Neff-Hall, visit Holisticlifesf.com

* These questions were taken from "Life on Purpose":  http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/life-on-purpose-15-questions-to-discover-your-personal-mission/

Self Care Is Number 1

           Yes, it is.  Instinctively you know why.  Have you ever felt extremely busy and overwhelmed at work and knew you needed to take a break but just refused to?  What happened? I bet you got sick.  That's because the body is always giving us warnings about what is too much for us.  If we listen, and take care of ourselves, the body will continue providing energy, focus, stamina, and healthy functionality.  If not, the body responds with "FINE.  I'll make you take a break then!" And suddenly we come down with something.
        
Self care is number 1
           It's needs to be a priority for you.  Self care is any activity that nourishes your mind, body or spirit.  It's any activity that feels good, that improves health, that is positive for your whole being.  It's personally rewarding and is key to optimum performance and joy in the day to day.
        
          Another example of lack of self care:  Have you ever been in the supermarket and seen a mother with her small children trying to grocery shop.  Her hair's a little disheveled and she has bags under her eyes.  She is exhausted.  Of course she is! She hasn't hired a baby sitter in god knows how long.  And she's in the market snapping at her kids.  Grabbing items out of their hands in frustration.  By not taking care of herself,  her kids pay the ultimate price.

It still is number one      
               So I'm sure what you're seeing, and what I'm trying to point out today, is that self care IS number one.  We cannot be our best for ourselves or others when we don't take adequate care of ourselves.  In my holistic coaching or EFT sessions, clients often tell me, "I don't have time (or money) to take care of myself".  Which is simply not true!  It's like people that say "I was too busy to call you back over the last two weeks."  We are ALL busy.   But we also have little chunks of time here and there. We also have support from people who can help us take breaks. It is possible and now is the time to figure out how you're going to take time out for yourself each day.

         But as I always say, awareness comes first. When I was teaching Kindergarten and First grade, I never took breaks.  I had the option of dialing the secretary and getting someone to cover my class for bathroom breaks, tea breaks, 10 minutes here or there.  But I didn't.  And it was only through therapy that I realized that I believed I'd be a bad teacher if I took breaks.  I believed my class would go haywire without me.  I believed that I wouldn't be able to get everything done if I took breaks.  Now I look back and know I had a choice, but at the time I felt I didn't.  My irrational beliefs were guiding my choices.

What does your self care look like?
            What choices are you making every day to take care of yourself or not take care of yourself?
How much time do you take socially or alone?
What are your eating habits and what quality of food do you ingest?
Do you break away from the computer?
Do you nap?
Do you hydrate?
Do you see specialists like acupuncturists, chiropractors, herbalists?
Are you exercising and getting outdoors?
How do you relax?

       I'm not suggesting you do ALL of these!  There are SO many ways to take care of ourselves each day, each week.  Just a little added self care can make all the difference in your mood, energy level and appearance.  Take a moment and let me know how you take care of yourself in a comment below.  Take care!

The Power of Goal Setting

I know what you're thinking.  "I've heard this before, 'figure out and write down your goals' Yeah, at New Years right?"  Tony Robbins calls this getting caught up in the Law of Familiarity.  Don't brush off the importance of writing down and making concrete what your focus is for the major areas of our life.   Bosses, partners, friends, and many others are interested in what your vision is, and if it's matching theirs.

When writing your goals, be creative, imaginative and outragious.  This gets you to open up that part of yourself that has been limited and kept stuck.  We want goals that we are inspired by and absolutely committed to working towards.  That's why in Holistic Coaching sessions, I ask clients to write down why their committed to working on them.  It's all about cost and benefit. What is the cost of not achieving this goal and what is the benefit from achieving it.  This is a great barometer of how invested you are in the goal.  By putting goals down and knowing why we're committed, we are developing personal power.

Make a list of your Personal Development Goals.  This could be work goals, relationship goals, spiritual goals, etc.  When you're done, write a 1, 3, 5, 10 or 20 next to each one determining how many years you're committed to having them achieved in.  Make sure you have a couple that are for the next year.  Remember, you don't need to know the HOW, just the WHY.

And that brings us to our next part:  Take your top three year 1 goals and write down why you're absolutely committed to achieving them in the next year.

Write one action you will take to initiate each of the goals TODAY.  If you picked a general goal such as "Earn 100,000 dollars next year", you still need a specific task that leads you towards this goal. This could be interviewing someone in your professional field that is making that kind of money.  Ask them how they got to where they are and what advice they give.  This could build a connection, give you great tips or educate you to make a really informed decision.  This is initial progress towards attaining these goals.  Get going, there's no better time than NOW!